I think I died today. And the world as well.
Ok, this is a weird one.
I’m not very familiar with the meaning and reasons behind sleep paralysis other than an intuition and personal experience that it occurs when you’re in a situation of stress or clausure. Most stuff that I read about it is meme related, so it’s safe to say that’s it is not really reliable. People say that they experience some sort of out-of-body experience, thus leading to some supernatural woo-woo.
So in my case, it’s not really that I’m out of my body once I’m asleep. I’m on my body, but the dream is as if I just woke up and I’m conscious that I’m dreaming of the place that I’m sleeping in but the thing is that it doesn’t matter how much I try I can’t really wake up, it’s probably a transitional state between different sleep cycles. So fucking weird.
But this time was a bit different from other times, because I died. Or rather, the world died and I went along with it. There is nothing super natural or clairvoyant going on, I’ve been thinking about death and the end of the world on a sec fairly recurrently tbh, so I was laying the groundwork for this type of thing. It’s a terrifying nightmare, that’s the word, I have some insecurities and fears to work on apparently. What’s more terrifying maybe is the fact that as I laid on my sleeping mat, and heard the noises of the earth ripping from inside, I couldn’t feel anything, as if all my senses where going offline but my vision was still there. I wonder if that’s how you die, the last thing that happens is your eyes passing the information to your brain that it’s over, and it can’t do nothing but accept it. The bliss that followed is hard to describe, such weightlessness.
But the wake up was much more relieving, then I slept soundly for the rest of the night, knowing that the earth still breathes.